Whenever it comes to relationships , the biggest factor in the success of every relationship will be trust. We all have things from our past that are not necessarily the crowning moment we want to reflect upon, but people move on and forget; whenever this becomes a problem is whenever your new relationship decides to bring up the past. This is fair in the extent that if they want to go along with the endeavor of a serious relationship with you, however their insecurities can lead to a huge doubt in the relationship that will slowly deteriorate it like a harsh acid on the skin. Whenever it comes to happiness in a relationship, one of the biggest questions asked is what you can do to stop your boyfriend from bringing up your past. This question can be easily answered with a few strong points and one word ; trust.
• People Grow Over Time
We have all made mistakes, whether you slipped up in your last relationship or left someone heartbroken; that does not necessarily mean it will carry into your relationship. We are what our past has made us, but the future is a clean slate; we have learned from past mistakes and have used them to develop ourselves into better people, evolving every day to know exactly what we want and we want require from a relationship, chances are if you are in a relationship with someone new now you have expectations where the previous relationship was considered a downfall. Whether you messed up in your last relationship, or got cheated on, these feelings do not need to carry over onto a clean slate. If your boyfriend continually brings up your past, while you are trying to be a supreme girlfriend, all you need to do is use the opportunity for reassurance. The age old saying is trust takes time to build up but seconds to go away, build trust, do not give him anything to worry about and overtime he will grow to trust you regardless of your past. If you “love” your boyfriend he will grow to know this and will stop bringing up past defaults regardless of their stature.
• Tell him what he needs to know
We aren’t asking you to go into your life story and divulge all your life secrets, but if you were unhappy in your last relationship tell him exactly what made you unhappy, be an open book and it will build a stronger relationship between the two of you, and he will reflect upon it before he brings up the past the next time. Relationships take work, no good relationship was built overnight and this is important to remember. Whenever he starts to waver or doubt you, remember what you said to him and reassure him that you are in it for the long run in this case because he makes you happy.
• If it never stops, don’t stay in a unhealthy relationship
Going back to main point of this article please remember that trust is the main part of any strong relationship. If you are unable to hang out with friends, or even carry on a conversation with a friend of yours that happens to be a guy in daily passing without having the 100 questions routine it may be time to consider leaving the relationship. I hate to say this, but I have been in a relationship that was extremely detrimental to my mental and physical healthy, they would consistently remind me of wrong doings in the past and it caused a huge hamper on the relationship. You have to strive for a better relationship, remember we all look for the love we think we deserve, make the love you deserve better in your mindset. If your current relationship isn’t making you happy, you have to get out or else it will cause lasting doubts in future relationships. If he does not trust you, it will directly affect your overall happiness because you cannot even speak to your friends with constant questions and lack of trust. If it is the beginning of the relationship you should be upfront with him about your concerns, sometimes this will help, but if the person has been hurt in the past and will not forgive your past, it may be time to move onto someone that will.
Relationships weren’t meant to be easy _ people that have been married for forty years have their own trials and tribulations over the course of those years. You will always have to put up with strife throughout a relationship. You will continue to grow as will your partner, and if they grow into someone you cannot love throughout your years with them it may be time to reconsider, but finding someone who can work through the grievances can build into a lasting and fulfilling relationship that will build on your happiness and let you know you found the right one.