Jealousy occurs when an individual feels that an important thing or relationship is threatened by someone else. Be it platonic, romantic, parent to child, sibling or friendship relationship. It can also occur in the context of competitive situations such as education or workplace rivalry. It differs from envy, as the latter is where you find yourself desiring something that another person has even though you can experience both at the same time.
Jealousy is a common emotion as many people feel it ever now and then all over the world. It is something that can bring you down and even pull apart a strong friendship or a relationship. Jealous can be a sign that you need to change or make a change in your life to be able to move to the next stage of your emotional growth. Instead of letting jealousy infect your relationship with others, you should work on yourself and try to understand the fears that cause it. Below are helpful tips for handling and overcome jealousy:
Description of a jealous person:
A jealous individual best resembles a vase that is empty. It can be filled with stones, rocks or any other trash that ends up breaking it. Those trash and stones are the jealous feelings that make an individual be aggressive and stressed.
1. Admit it
If you are jealous towards someone else, the best way to recover from it is by admitting it. Admitting will help by opening your heart and mind and will also make you stronger and you will be able to handle it.
2. Stop comparing
This is what makes jealousy turn from bad to ugly. By comparing yourself with other people, you will only focus on bad and negative things about you which might lead to self loathing and anger. Understand that you are unique in your own way and focus on your positive things.
3. Love yourself
If you do not love yourself, you cannot help feeling jealous. An individual who does not love himself can be compared to an empty bucket that can be filled with rocks and stones that can eventually break it. If you love yourself you will leave no room for jealousy.
4. Shift your focus
When you feel like you are being jealous, you can shift your focus by watching a movie or listen to some music, this can help you greatly.
5. Self examination
Being jealous about others talents, looks, or possessions can make you feel terrible. To overcome it, you should make a list of your best personal traits such as appearance, personality, education, life style, and job. You can also list your family, friends, health and anything else that you are proud of. Whenever you get a jealous feeling, take out your list and go through it, remind yourself that you have more than the rest. This will help you in feeling that you have no need of being jealous of others.
6. Tackle your feelings
Take time and go back into your minds and ask yourself some questions. For example, am I jealous out of anger? Why am I angry When you begin to question yourself you can be able to take some positive steps to be able to manage the feeling constructively.
Before anything else, once you make other person feel you were jealous of something, and you feel you have gone too far to expose your jealous emotions; it is always good to apologize. The act of apologizing should not be lengthy or complicated. Simply make a concision decision to stop indulging into suspicion and apologize by saying something like, “am sorry for reacting that way, I have some silly thoughts that makes me imagine things that are not”. The act of apologizing will help you break the cycle and will be sufficient to give both of you a space to discuss what has just happened. Recognition of your poor behavior and the need to be more open signifies that you are overcoming jealousy.
8. Change false believes that maybe fueling your jealousy
In most cases, when you feel jealous there is always false and baseless beliefs that cause a jealous reaction. If you examine those believes you can be able to eliminate jealousy. Some of the underlying baseless beliefs include; “everyone is out to get their hands on my money”, “if I lose this person I will not have any friends”, in both instances, these beliefs can be the source of jealousy as they are pre-emptive defenses against the potential of a bad thing happening to you. You should understand that beliefs are changeable by choice and by changing the beliefs you change the way you feel.
9. Face it by communicating
Sometimes, to overcome something you need face it confidently. As you communicate with your subject, be honest, open and respectful when talking and do not be hostile. This is because by talking to that person this may be of help for you to recover from being jealous. The important thing is not to be judgmental before you hear him/her out. You may even find out that you had no reason for being jealous anyway. Regardless of your subjects reactions, getting your feelings out is the healthiest way to deal with jealousy.
10. Get help
If the feeling does not fade with time, if you feel it is uncontrollable, or if it causes a disproportionate amount of rage or sadness, you might need to see a specialist. Psychologists are talk therapists and seeing one can be of great help to you. You will be able to understand the source if your jealousy and you will be able to move on. If you feel you do not need a therapist, you can even talk to someone whom you trust and he/she can help you. Jealousy, just like other negative feelings can be handled. All you need is to have a humble and loving heart, open minds, and peaceful spirit. And most of all, believe in you.